Thursday, May 1, 2008

Because I'm nothing, if not a product of the '80s

I was recently perusing People Magazine online -- my source for all news and information -- and read that they are re-releasing the Sweet Valley High book series.

I'm probably going to shatter any ideas of my being high-brow and intellectual here (and clearly, if you're looking for high-brow and intellectual, you're reading the wrong blog), but I didn't read quality series-type books like Nancy Drew growing up. I opted, instead, for Liz and Jess. In fact, I spent the better part of a year channeling Elizabeth Wakefield, and don't think for a second I didn't have the polo shirts and khaki pants to prove it. In my pubescent mind, we had so much in common, only she was a blond and I was a brunette, she lived in California and I lived in Michigan, she had a boyfriend and I was too young to even think about dating.

Other than that, we totally could have been BFFs.

Anywho. In my eagerness to learn more -- I mean, I was ready to pick up where I left off with book #53 -- I hopped on over to Amazon. The reviews were not pretty. Apparently, they have decided to "modernize" the series for the re-release. (Which absolutely cracks me up to know parts of my childhood are now in need of being "modernized.") They're trading in the red Fiat for a Jeep. Elizabeth will work for a website not a newspaper (because apparently a newspaper is so last millenium). And the twins will no longer be a "perfect size 6" -- but a "perfect size 4."


What is wrong with people? Have they learned nothing from the whole "old Coke" vs. "new Coke" debacle of '85? You simply can't improve on a classic.

And while I might be willing to acquiesce to a little updating -- they so crossed the line with the vanity sizing.

It's a good thing I have the first 52 original books preserved in a box in the basement waiting to be presented to my daughters when they come of age.

I am not even kidding.

Because Nancy Drew's got nothin' on Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield.

That there's some high-brow reading fun.


Anonymous said...

*gasp* -- how exciting!!! This is the strangest thing, but I was recently (just a couple days ago) reminiscing about my beloved Sweet Valley High books. I wanted to BE a twin, just like Elizabeth and crazy Jessica, and have eyes like the color of the Pacific. Oh, all the memories are coming back to me now -- Elizabeth's friend Enid (who is named Enid, for goodness sakes?), the stucco home, the red Fiat. I even remember one about a new girl not a part of the in-crowd (I think it was in the #50's) who wrote a song -- I came up with a tune for it!! The words were something like:

"Day after day
I'm feeling kind of lonely
Day after day
It's him and him only.
Something in his eyes
Made my hopes start to rise.
But he's a part of a world that doesn't include me.
Nothing he says could ever delude me.
I just can't win. This is how it's always been.
I'm on the outside. Looking in.

But a perfect size 4??? very very very VERY sad commentary for today's girls. Have the Dove commercials done NOTHING!? :(

--from another '80's child, Lori H.

p.s. -- New Kids are reuniting!! :)

Domestic Spaz said...

Oh how I loved Sweet Valley High! I was also in love with Liz. My name is Elizabeth, too, and I then dreamed of working on a newspaper (which in high school I actually DID become editor in chief of our school paper) and having a cute boyfriend and being a perfect size 6.

Kristen said...

Wow. My whole image of you is shattered. What would the good folks at Hour Detroit say?

My mom thought SVH would be a negative influence and they were banned. And my first "barbies" were the Sunshine Family. Yep. This from the mom who currently reads Nora Ephron.

Anyway, I think it is like totally awesome that NKOTB is back! And I may even download a song or two, provided it sounds nothing like that drivel I used to drool over.

Kendra said...

Wow ~ Had no clue. I too loved those books. You are so right ... you can never improve on the classic!

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Size 4? Ca-razy. I loved those books, though. And another blogger posted about those Sillouette First Love books. Do you remember those? Two flashbacks in one week of my former literary self.