A Tale of Two Ta-Tas

This past weekend I finally did something I've been promising myself I would do for a long time.

I had a professional br@ fitting.

See, I've nursed three babies, for over a year each. The "girls" have been working pretty much non-stop since 2002. And now, well -- they're a little worse for the wear.

I figured a professional br@ fitting might be just the thing to help me gain a few more cup sizes sans surgery make the most of what I've got. I scheduled an appointment at Intimacy -- home of the renowned Br@ Whisperer.

I had the highest of hopes.

Turns out, I was wearing the wrong size -- and my lovely Whisperer Stacy spent quite a bit of time enlightening me on the finer points of a well-fitting undergarment.

Yet, while my fitting was "complimentary," I can assure you that the supportive undergarments were not.

Br@ Whispering does not come without a price, my friends.

The price tag -- oh, I'm ashamed to share this with you -- was $65 and up. Per br@. One br@ I bought was over $100.

Let me type that again.

I bought one br@ for $104.

And no, it was not the one encrusted with diamonds that they show on the cover of that famous catalog of underpinnings.

(But it does convert into three different styles, so I kind of felt like I was getting a deal.)

All told, I spent WAY TOO MUCH in that store. Even my mother -- who is all about spending money on "important wardrobe staples" -- had to pick her jaw up off the floor when I told her what I spent.

I'm not proud.

And, it should come as no surprise that Intimacy doesn't offer refunds.

Store credits? Yes.

Refunds? No.

Obviously, I'm not the only woman who stumbled out of the store, teensy shopping bag in hand, and stood in horror as the lingerie-induced haze lifted from her brain and she came to grips with the reality of what she had just done.

For the rest of the day, not only did I find myself staring at people's chests wondering how much they paid for their underpinnings, but I also began viewing every potential purchase in terms of a br@.

For example, a supa-cute jacket in Nordstrom would cost me about one br@.

A sweater I loved in Ann Taylor -- just under one br@.

Some makeup I was considering in Sephora -- about half a br@.

Lunch? About a strap's worth.

But, perhaps most frustrating was the fact that I left my fitting a little depressed. My new purchases were eons better than what I had been wearing, but after such a significant investment, I was kind of hoping I'd have a little more to show for it.

Literally. As in an extra cup size or two.

Now, I know that's ridiculous, but part of me hoped that maybe there was some super-secret trick the Br@ Whisperer would share for making me look more endowed than I really am.

Well, I suppose there is a trick. It's called an implant and they just don't do those at Intimacy.

So, while I wrestled with what I spent, I also had to wrestle with the fact that a girl's gotta work with what she's got.

And for me, the fact of the matter is that in the ta-ta department, that's not much.

But, then I stop and realize that "what I have" is really a matter of perspective. I look at my three beautiful kids. I consider the fact that I'm healthy and have the energy I need to do what I do each day. I look at my husband who loves me no matter how much money I manage to spend on undergarments what happens.

While my physical cups might be a little on the sparse side, my metaphorical cups truly runneth over.

And in the end, I'll take that over a great rack any day of the week.