Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Stake Out -- Part 1

I'm writing this post camped out in my great room with one eye on the computer and the other on the floor basket that holds our afghans. I've been on a stake out for nearly two hours and I figured y'all might enjoy a little live-action blogging.

When our dog was alive, she made sure that the lizard population outside our house was kept under control. She loved to chase down the lizards, pull off their tails and bat them around. It was her way of "playing" with them, only she often ended up literally scaring them to death. Since she's been gone, our lizard population has flourished. Now, I don't have a problem with these lizards living on our deck, but when they start invading my space, I'm sorry, I have to take issue.

So, this morning, after getting Grace up from her nap and while walking into the kitchen, I noticed something dark scurry by underfoot. After jumping about three feet off the ground from shock, I realized it was a lizard -- that had just sought refuge in a tight corner behind our afghan basket.

Hubs took my other two kids out early this morning, so it was just me holding down the homestead. I can't relax knowing that something like this is loose in the house. They are so fast and they dart around everywhere, it creeps me out. And, I put my baby on the floor to play, for crying out loud. Not to mention, I don't know if it's my aura or anything, but little critters like that always find their way to where I sleep. Always. And I just can't have that.

I knew I had to act fast -- with any luck, I'd be able to catch it without placing a frantic call to my husband. I grabbed a Tupperware bowl and figured if I could just get it down over him, my husband could deal with it when he got home. (As a side note, this trapping approach is incredibly helpful when dealing with other unwanted pests, such as palmetto bugs, scorpions and spiders. In the warmer months, there's often at least one water glass daily that traps something awaiting inevitable disposable when my husband returns home.) I slowly pulled the basket away from the wall. He was sitting there, but I didn't think I'd have enough room to lower the bowl down. I tried to barricade his escape on either side with books (but who am I kidding? He could probably squeeze through the tiniest of cracks.) I stuffed the cracks, as best I could, with rags. He was definitely hiding in the shadows somewhere -- biding his time.

Three frantic calls to husband. Nothing but voicemail.

After about a half hour of panicked searching, I let my guard down a little. I had to feed my child lunch. As I was serving up her food, I thought I'd take a quick peek, just to make sure he hadn't popped out. I looked, and there he was, poised to dart on the top edge of the basket. It was my big chance! Unfortunately, in my excitement to run around and get him, I let out an "Oh!", which frightened him back into hiding.

I tried to poke the basket around with a broom to see if I might get him to give up his hiding spot, but he wouldn't bite. Then, I considered the possibility that he might have darted inside the basket among the blankets. So, I did what any self-respecting mother who is trying to protect her children would do. I press and sealed the basket.

Unfortunately, since I've been sitting here, I've seen his head poke over the books three times. He's getting antsy, which may or may not, play out in my favor. My biggest fear is that I make a wrong move and he'll manage to scurry someplace where I'll never be able to get him.

And, I'm sorry, that would keep me up nights.

So I sit here. Staring down the basket. Laying in wait. Running over with my broom every time I see his little head poke up.

I'm having a very busy Saturday, thanks for asking.


Kristen said...

You press-and-sealed a basket! I am ROTFL! Can't say as I've ever had a lizard in my house. What a grand adventure! Most of our critters (skunks, groundhogs, the occasional fox) remain OUTSIDE. Good luck with the stake out. Can't wait to read Part 2.

mah-meeee said...

too funny!!!! press and sealed the basket! seriously... ok ok , i have to stop laughing...

anyway, maybe it's time for another dog?

Thaney said...

That is absolutely the funniest thing I have ever heard. It was quite a creative idea :) Since I'm catching up, I already read part 2 but this kept me laughing.