Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Stake Out -- Part 2

Well, much to my relief, Hubs came home about 15 minutes after I posted Part 1 of my story. Here's the way it all went down:

Kids run in first and find me standing guard with the broom, my eyes fixed on the corner.

"Where's Daddy?" I ask, trying my best to act calm and natural.

They inform me he's on the phone in the garage.

"Could you please get him?"

Hubs strolls in, sees my concerned face, and tells his caller that he has to go. I inform him that we have a problem -- a lizard in the house.

"Michelle, is this what you've been doing the whole morning? We've been gone for five hours and you're still in your pajamas."

Okay. Look. I wanted to take a shower, but did you think I was going to leave the lizard unattended? Without my watchful eye, he could have escaped and gone anywhere in the house. He could sneak up on the kids, or worse yet the baby, who plays on the floor.

"So?" he says. "Did you think it would climb up her nose and eat her brain?"

Well, no. But now that you're here, you need to get him.

I escort him over to my containment area.

"You press and sealed him into the basket?!"

"I thought he might be in the basket, but I think he's hiding underneath."

Hubs walks up to the basket and gets ready to lift it up.

"Wait!" I practically scream. I had to be sure he was ready, because I can't tell you the number of times I've asked him to catch a bug, he knocks it around and it escapes. When he can't find it, he shrugs his shoulders and walks away, leaving me a nervous wreck. I was not going to take the chance that we'd lose this lizard. No way. I had way too much time invested.

"Are you sure you're ready?" I ask.

"Yes."

He lifts the basket. Nothing.

That can't be. He's hiding. Hubs looks all over the outside of the basket. Still nothing.

"Michelle, there's nothing here. You must have been mistaken."

Surely he's not thinking I made this up? No, I assure him, he's there. Look under the books.

Nothing.

Look under the beach towel.

Nothing.

At this point, I was starting to think I had hallucinated the whole thing. It couldn't be. I was watching so carefully. If the lizard had tried to run away, I would have seen his little black slithery body. He was a good 4 inches or so in length. He couldn't have gotten past me. My mind was reeling -- how was I going to get through the next few days knowing this little guy could pop out and scare the tar out of me at any moment?

Hubs goes down to pick up the last remaining towel on the floor and -- thank goodness! -- the tip of a tail. He grabs the little guy in the towel and escorts him out the door. In my great panic and subsequent relief, I neglected to have my camera ready. By the time I retrieved it so I could snap his picture, he was running away as fast as he could. But, for those of you who have an interest, he looked like this.

Would you want that running around your house?

I think not.

6 comments:

Three P's in a Pod said...

Okay, I am dying with laughter here. Sorry.:) But I am so glad you were vindicated!! Now you can sleep peacefully tonight.

Domestic Spaz said...

This post was hilarious! We actually had one of these in our house for days. He was living in my office (where I had to work!) and he was uncatchable. Every once in a while I would hear him move behind my bookshelf or in the closet and I'd tuck my feet up under me and shiver a bit. I'm sure some day I'm going to lift up a piece of furniture or something and find him dead underneath because we never did catch him. I feel your pain!

Kristen said...

Ok! Now I can sleep at night. The lizard has been removed from your house. :)

Kendra said...

1st ~ That is a cool blue tail!

Okay I’m 185% with you on this. I would not have let that thing out of sight and I would have been terrified! I have no problems with bugs or reptiles but stay out of my home. If you enter it will be war!

I was totally on the edge of my seat reading this! Too funny. So glad you caught it.

mah-meeee said...

oh i have to stop laughing again.

my hubby never gets why i'm so paranoid with bugs & pests. i literally can not go to sleep if i spot ants in the house. i would toss at night thinking that the ants are crawling on my kids.

your stake out posts are great and after i saw the pic of the lizard, i now understand your need to catch it and toss it out.

Tara said...

Loved your hubs response "is it going to crawl up her nose and eat her brain?" That was a great line.

Until I saw the lizard. I would have freaked right on out too.